Freak. Me

Yes, Elli, I'm a freak, tq.
;)

I could proudly say i am a FREAK
So what?

Freaks are unique arent they.
Eheh.
But that's not what I'm goin to argue about.

I just feel dumber as i get older.
And I cant find the reason why.
It sucks.
I guess thats why i like to behave like lil children?
But, hey, i do have my conscience.
I noe when i shud act mature.

But that still doesnt change the fact that i feel dumb.

Maybe its becuz i get lazier and lazeir as i get older?
Why is that?
Perhaps there're just too many things goin on.
N I cant decide which one's important than the other.
N I tend to focus on the uninportant stuff?
I dont know.
My mind is like a puzzle.
And they're constantly moved.

I could figure out tonnes of reasons why my life is wonderful in one second, then the next, aLL gone.
It sucks.
Especially when such things happens the moment u need to remember.


Ngaa~

Well now I'm just in a neutral mood.
Thou i do wonder about it still.

I wonder if he wonders about me?
Damn.
I hate commitments,
when i dont know if i get any from the other side.

He totally blown it.
Didnt he noe that by sayin such stuff will make me somehow tied up to him.
Eventhou he says there's no title.
Dat even sucks more.
I mean, I like things to be in black and white.
No grey and tons of em in the middle.
Makes me confuse.

Well i cant act like i dont care cuz i do.
N when i do, I just DO.
He noes that.
N' I cant say nething untill he defines whats really between us.
If its just frens, its frens. It's more, it's more.
I dont need sumthing in between.

I hate the fact that I created the quote
"I cant live without boys"
Cuz it became a fact.

Well, I noe i do stuff successfully with this one:
ANGER

Unfortunately i become soft hearted n yeah, a lazy ass.

Dammit.
Everything was going so right.
Ngaa~
Can we rewind Ramadhan back?
Please...